tamarjacobson

Journey to the unknown

Thirty one years ago I immigrated to America to take myself back to school. It was a journey into the unknown: new country, new continent, new academia, new cultures. Planning, packing, traveling, arriving were all filled back and forth with both parts of excitement and anxiety, even trepidation. Nervous knots in the stomach, and at times difficulty breathing with exhilaration. I had no idea what was in store.

This morning when I awoke, I sensed those same emotions, as I think of turning 70 on Friday. In a way, I have been packing and preparing for this stage all my life.

I have a friend who says that "Turning 70 only takes a day, and then the next day we return to being who we are, and it's all over." And, of course, I understand what she means. And true it is. Nothing changes just by having a birthday. And yet … birthdays do represent milestones along the developmental stages, and turning 70 means entering the phase of elder years. The body and mind changes in significant ways whether we like it or not. Just part of being human – just as at every level we feel changes in maturation. While I have accompanied many people as they became older especially and including my father, who was 55 when I was born, and I have observed first hand how we develop into older age, I have never experienced it myself.

Hence: a journey into the unknown for me. Certainly there is some trepidation about physical changes, including at times a lack of energy just when I seem to need it the most. But, mostly, I feel excited. I no longer need acknowledgement and validation as much as I used to. What a release of emotional pressure that is. I enjoy learning new things almost like a child – it feels fresh and invigorating not to know it all. And, finally, I have always loved a good journey with new friendships and different cultures. 

As I have been phasing into retirement these past three years, I have been welcomed by a warm, loving and supportive community, and have made some really good friends. Life has been enhanced in ways I could not have imagined even five years ago. These past few weeks many of them have been celebrating with me making this an entire birthday month. So, going forward, I feel sure I won't be journeying alone.