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Quote of the day
I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. Harry Truman (From CCIE)
Quote of the day
I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. Harry Truman (From CCIE)
Quote of the day
If I have learned anything from Anne Lamott it is that writing is writing, no matter if it sounds like mere ramblings about cafeteria lunches or a well thought out, greatly tuned 500 page novel. We all need to be given opportunities to write unedited. I believe if people always censor their writing and their thoughts, "bad" ideas will never have the opportunity to flourish into wonderful insights and beautiful writing. [Cara, graduate student]
Quote of the day
I kind of appreciate the experience of any day when I'm not scaring the shit out of myself. [A colleague at lunch the other day]
Reflecting back, for no apparent reason, or perhaps to get into a Passover state of mind, I just re-read a couple of posts that I wrote two years ago, that still have meaning for me now:
and
A pessimist may be right in the long run, but the optimist has a better time during the trip. (Daily quote posted yesterday at Neidermyer's Poultry Counter – Chestnut Hill Farmers Market)
The other day at one of my presentations, I talked about doing and understanding only what we are able at any given moment. It seemed to make sense to people attending my talk – but, more importantly it made sense to me in a most profound way. One of the participants shared how hard it was to convince a younger person she cared about, that she needed a higher education in order to succeed in this world. At the end of her story, the older woman in my workshop asked my advice about how to convince her young protege about something she considered to be so crucial for her survival. I replied that she probably would not be able to convince the young woman of anything she did not experience.
For example, when I was young, a number of significant people in my life told me that I was intelligent and should get a higher education. At that time in my life I was unable to even vaguely imagine what they were talking about. I did not feel like I was intelligent, but more painfully, I did not feel deserving of a higher education like everyone else. No amount of telling could convince me to try. But then, one day, almost twenty years later, after years of life experience, self destructive behaviors, therapy, and a bit of luck, I finally allowed myself to reach out, and pull myself out and up into the academic light.
You just cannot do what you are not psychologically or emotionally ready to do.
When I look back and remember moments with all the mentors, therapists, family members, or friends, who gave me advice and support along the way, I realize how they helped me arrive at that moment when I made a choice to change my life script. So, while it is important to share our passion, enthusiasm, support, role modeling – even personal advice – with others, we care about, at the same time, we will have to understand and accept that others may not take our advice or example yet, or ever.
Perhaps our task as educators, counselors, family members or friends – is simply to offer others on our life's path, a different option. Perhaps that is all we can do.
Writing is exciting for me. I have been doing quite a bit of it lately for a book I am editing (Gender Perspectives in Early Childhood), and a couple of articles in the works.
Lately I have been noticing what happens to me a I write. Physically, my fingers fly over the keys and my eyes widen with excitement – I even lose my voice and become hoarse. As I start to express myself in a way that sounds good to me, and am able to put down what I have to say in words that ring literal and true, I find myself suddenly jumping up from my chair, and then proceed to running all about the house. It is as if the excitement is too much to bear. It feels dangerous in a way, thrilling. I do all sorts of unnecessary chores, all the while anxious to return to my writing, almost as if I am not allowed to go back to it just yet, just before I need to do this or that.
I hold the pleasure of having things to say at bay.
As every flower fades and as all youth departs, so life at every stage – so virtue, so our grasp of truth – blooms in its day and does not last forever. Be ready heart for parting, new endeavor. Herman Hesse
One of my dissertation advisors used to say that we journey a-ways with people, and then move onto our separate paths when the time comes. It could be parting through death and dying, or divorce. It might happen from work places or cities and countries. When the time comes to move on … the time comes. We know it in our hearts and souls, we feel it in our brains. Moving on is all around us. Passages of time, journeys with loved ones and friends, colleagues and acquaintances, separation and goodbyes are all part of living and growing, physically and emotionally. As a teacher, and now professor, I bid farewell to classes of students from year to year, joyful for their future opportunities, and, at the same time, sad to say goodbye. Parting is such sweet sorrow.
In fact, my writing journey has brought me to a new place, a different space. The land of the memoir. Indeed, much of what I have written about on my blog seems to have been laying the foundation to a larger, more comprehensive story of me. But now I feel I might pull back into anonymity for awhile. The time has come to explore alone, quietly and privately, reading up and learning about the art of memoir writing, even as I start to author my own.
Quote of the day
Remember that you own what happened to you. If your childhood was less than ideal, you may be raised thinking that if you told the truth about what really went on in your family, a long bony white finger would emerge from a cloud and point at you, while a chilling voice thundered, "We told you not to tell."
(Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird, page 6)
Love After Love
The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved youall your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.Anonymous submission.
Derek Walcott