Downs and up again (Update)

by tamarjacobson

Quote of the day:

It’s not having what you want
It’s wanting what you’ve got

I’m gonna soak up the sun
I’m gonna tell everyone
To lighten up (I’m gonna tell ’em that)
I’ve got no one to blame
For every time I feel lame
I’m looking up
I’m gonna soak up the sun
I’m gonna soak up the sun

Sheryl Crow

I am a very fortunate person. For I have had the wonderful opportunity to take two years sitting quietly, alone with myself and digest the therapeutic process of a few years ago. I mean really come to grips with it. Face it down and understand. And then there is my life partner. A true friend who supports and challenges me in every aspect of living together; who is prepared to open up our wounds in pain and anguish and then watch them start to heal with each moment that we commit to hanging in there with one another; the moment after, love refueled and strengthened.

How lucky am I! Discovering a rich, deep, traditional heritage in the lands of Aegean seas and brilliant sunshine. Realizing that I received (learned?) strength and courage, observation skills and ability to search for awareness from my mother.

Grateful I am. For this day. Ada curled up on the chair next to me as I type, Molly basking in the sun. Thinking of my son as he soaks in family and friends in our beloved homeland, listening to his music, and wishing him fulfillment in new ventures that are bound to come his way. Realizing that thoughts about exclusion, unlovable-ness, loneliness or homelessness are just that – thoughts – not reality – not truths. Stuff of the brain and mind which I can either choose to reinforce by excluding myself, making me unlovable, lonely or homeless, or have the freedom to turn around.

Does that mean I can include myself, love me as I am, feel the vibrant community of humankind all around, and allow myself to belong where I am right here, right now?

[And I haven’t even read the book yet!]

Happy Father’s Day to all who celebrate today. I send a special wish to Dick. How lucky I am to have such a supportive, encouraging, kind and loving Father-in-Law!

Update:

Talking about including myself, I wrote more about that at 100 Bloggers, where I am included as a contributor today.