Peaceful, even a little wistful

by tamarjacobson

Did you notice?

All of a sudden I just stopped blogging. For almost a week. I did not think about it much. Early this morning I wondered if it was because I have so much to say that I say nothing at all … of substance. So many thoughts and feelings locked away in head and heart. Life partner away, and alone time is plenty. Mostly Ada and I share the silence although now and again I find myself humming as I do this or that. And yet, I am often hoarse to the point of losing my voice completely. My head and heart continue their conversation into my voice box with or without my realizing, hiding, lowering my voice with or without my knowing:

… all this violence everywhere is breaking my heart; how strange that beloved ones always seem to die in July; love, feeling it quietly to myself … peaceful, even a little wistful; I order a book of Vita Sackville West’s letters to Virginia Wolf; summer is soon to end and work begins again bringing with it fear, expectation, anticipation, am being little more careful about over-enthusiasm this time around.

Yes. Peaceful, even a little wistful – delicious feeling – pretty much sums up the summer of 2006. When I googled "on loving" I found this piece:

May all beings be at ease.
Whatever living beings there may be;
Whether they are weak or strong, omitting none,
The great or the mighty, medium, short or small,
The seen and the unseen,
Those living near and far away,
Those born and to-be-born,
May all beings be at ease
!