Time of day

by tamarjacobson

Quote of the day:

George Washington Carver once warned against letting any man drag you so low as to make you hate him. Marian Wright Edelman

I am always amazed at my own resilience. Sometimes at night I am exhausted. Physically, emotionally, cognitively. From working, thinking, feeling all day. And then after a good night’s sleep I wake up full of bounce and energy ready to go again. The night before, all the days ahead seem so full of work and responsibility that I feel I might fall down under the weight of it. And so, lately, when I start to feel overwhelmed in the night, sometimes just before I fall asleep, for example, I say to myself in my mind, "Don’t think about it now. Wait until tomorrow morning," and then I fall right to sleep as relaxed as can be, as if some kindly, strong and constant parent has just tucked me into bed. And then, the next morning, the burden seems as light as can be and I am rearing to go.

Resilience is intriguing to me. I don’t think I’m alone in my fascination with humankind’s will to survive even the harshest of circumstances. Tales of this or that person’s strength when all seems lost hold my attention and inspire me. Always have. I am especially struck by people who seem to have no fear and do great deeds: Joan of Arc, Mother Teresa, you know, people like that. Fear is such a stumbling block to activism. Fear of what people think, wanting to be liked by everyone, fear of the unknown, physical or emotional discomfort, or even fear of one’s own mortality.

For the longest time I hoped someone would come along and save me. Now I understand that resilience has also to do with realizing I am the only person who can save me. When I am out of confidence or sliding into one of my ancient abysses, that realization seems lonely. On the other hand, early in the next morning of energy and bounce-back, that realization feels like strength and courage.

Resilience has to do with energy, bounce-back, hope, strength, courage, the ability to climb out of the abyss, and most importantly, attitude.

And for me, resilience has to do with time of day.