Pass-over-days
by tamarjacobson
Quote of the day:
Chag Pessach Sameach.May this be a spring of renewal.May we gain freedom from whatever we are enslaved by.From my friend, Huw.
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Dedicated to Tamar at Only Connect.
Passover in Israel is just not the same as the holiday celebrated in America. During the past nineteen years, living in the States, I have tried to replicate the feeling of the season of a time left behind. Filling the house with flowers, for it is those wild spring flowers I remember the most, with great longing. It is the smells of the warm air and a time of celebration that tastes of re-birth and new beginnings. And, for me, the holiday has significance. I wish we could celebrate it with everyone, telling a story about a people who struggled to be free from slavery. Using the story as an example for all peoples everywhere, instead of huddling and keeping it to ourselves. One year, when I was first living in Buffalo, New York, I invited all my friends, only one of whom was Jewish, to celebrate Passover as a Freedom Festival. Each person or couple was asked to share a freedom theme of their choosing. We created our own song-book of civil rights songs. One group talked about the emancipation of women, another about freeing slaves, and one told the Native American story. The children had prepared banners as if at a peace protest rally and greeted the visitors at the door with their placards. It was a great night.
Indeed, in Buffalo, I would invite friends almost each year and prepare a fine feast. Only once or twice did we actually tell the freedom story or perform the rituals, and it always felt good for me when my son was able to participate. One year, when he was there we realized we did not have any cipot (skull caps) for reading the blessings. Later that same year we both visited Israel, me to my family and he to his father. When we met back on the airplane to return to the States, we discovered to our surprise and amazement that I had bought him a beautiful hand embroidered skull cap, and he had purchased for me a fine, hand-painted Passover ritual plate.
During one of my Passover celebrations in Buffalo, as we were all sitting around after dinner with desert and coffee, I overheard my friend Charlie talking to one of the other guests. He was saying something and then added casually, almost humorously, "That’s if I don’t have cancer …" I waited until I had a moment alone with him and asked him why he had said that. He explained on that same day he had just seen a doctor about something on the back of his neck and was waiting for results from a biopsy. Charles died three years later. Passover has a different memory for me now. A Charlie memory and one I will cherish forever.
It is two and a half years already since relocating to Philadelphia, and I have not yet made quite enough friends to create a festive dinner. But I love the way the daffodils in my yard spring up to greet the season. I am sure some of you are shaking your heads from side to side. What on earth does this atheist want with holidays anyway? And I will answer this: holidays mark time, bring people together on a day that is special from the ordinary, and often symbolize some kind of hope for the community. I love the foods, flowers, candles, incense, wine, clothing, gifts, whatever else, and especially the good will that accompanies the festivities. Plus, I really just love participating with all kinds of people in all kinds of communal situations. When I was Director of the University Child Care Center in Buffalo, I would get such a kick out of seeing all those hard working dedicated women coming together all spruced up and beautiful at our holiday celebrations!
Perhaps in the future we could create a special Bloggers Holiday. In different parts of the world computers could be set up in the center of chosen rooms, decorated with flowers and candles, and we would dance into the night celebrating our Cyber community, YouTubing and instantly sharing the good will in between bites of special blogging foods, while creating virtual memories for years to come.
In the meantime, I am cleaning my home, gathering some daffodils and preparing myself for, as Huw says, gaining freedom from whatever enslaves me.
Happy Passover to all those who celebrate!
tamarjacobson 
Tamar,
You are in my thoughts, too. Thanks so much for your comments. Chag Sameach to you and yours!
Hey Kara!
What a fabulous surprise to hear from you – and through my blog no less! Hurrah! Your life surely is unfolding in unexpected ways. I miss you too. Have still not found anyone like you – and I keep searching.
Happy Easter! Good luck in Texas. Hugs to both you and Steve.
Thank you for sharing your awesome memories and traditions. I especially loved reading about the surprise gifts you and your son exchanged on returning from your visit to Israel. And while Passover in Israel is truly gorgeous in nature, the daffodils in your midst, while not kalaniyot (anemones?), look so fine.
You describe having lovingly and joyfully, in Buffalo, woven new songs, recipes, liturgy, celebrants, and more into the Seder experience — the curriculum. I, too, have done similarly with family of choice outside Israel in various places I have lived.
While Philly has some neat options to explore for celebrating and marking calendars and life cycles in community, I know that each phase and place we are in has its unique characteristics and “timing.”
I love the telling and retelling of the ancient story of bondage, yearning for freedom, quarreling (finally, as physically unbound people) with the realities of a dream come true, and becoming a nation after working through bitter adversity and shrinking of ego. All the symbols, the myths, the possible truths in the narrative turn me on as do the endless possibilities for study and understanding of our selves and others. And the food… oh, the glorious food, and the singing and the focus on the young — in years, mind, and heart. Tell your children — the commandment we read at the top of the Seder, any “teacher” or “parent” (doesn’t everyone play at least one of these roles in a lifetime?) can easily grasp, appreciate, and do.
I will be remembering your deeply meaningful post during my seder Monday night.
Hey there Tamar. I’m sitting at work in sunny southern california. I wanted to say hi and your blog is so convenient! Steve and I are well. We are making a move to Austin, Tx in about a month. We just visited and had a great time. Once living there I’ll start teaching and spending time with kids again. As for the next month, I’ll be enjoying beautiful california to the fullest. I hope you’re well. I loved this entry about holidays. I grew up in a Catholic family and would love easter just because it meant family gathered, smiles, great clothes and laughing. I don’t think you need “god” to appreciate holidays for all the good they contain. Miss you!!! Love, Kara