New shoes … for a new page

by tamarjacobson

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Nothing like a good editorial whipping to realize that writing about politics is just not my shtick – my forte! Politics needs a rational and unbiased brain, and I surely don’t have such an organ! I should stick to what I know best – matters of the emotional mind. And so, when Neilochka – twittered @ me personally, suggesting I post a picture of my new shoes, I decided that would be a great way to veer slowly back to the old Tamarika at Mining Nuggets!

And so, Neil, here they are. My new shoes. I have not been able to buy new clothes for over a year. It is a self-punishing thing. I have been in therapy long enough to know that, for goodness sakes. I admonish myself in my mind daily, sometimes by the hour. It goes something like this: "Look. If you are too lazy to work out, eat right and lose weight, you are going to have to wait for new clothes." Or, this: "Look at you!" (While I am staring at myself in the mirror or see myself in a shop window) "How awful! Aren’t you ashamed? Is this how you have chosen to end your days – looking like this!? – no new clothes for you!"

Yesterday, the sun was shining and the air was warmer than it has been in awhile. People were out and about in the streets of Chestnut Hill as I went about my errands, buying coffee, going to the bank, and purchasing all the right stuff for pre-colonoscopy preparation day next week. Suddenly, I found myself staring into the shop window of the Chestnut Hill Bootery. Tomorrow I am headed out to Stony Brook, Long Island to sleep over before presenting a full day of staff development for the teachers of their campus child care center. I really need some new black shoes. My colleagues at Rider (one in particular) have been advising me that it is high time I acquired some! After all, brown just does not go with everything. We all know that! Surely?

So, into the bootery I hopped, and thank goodness there was a kind and patient young woman to help me navigate the various and sundry styles and shapes. I felt like a country bumpkin – it seemed like such a long time since I have had some sales person actually take the time to help me out like that with such patience and a friendly air.

When I eventually came out into the sunshine, bag full of shoes in my hand, I found a parking ticket under the windshield wiper on my car. Meter expired! Oh well, I guess if I cannot punish myself emotionally for shoe-shopping, the cops will do it for me! I smiled to myself about that. External forces confirming my old psychological habits.

A year ago at Mining Nuggets: Made of the same stuff