‘Tis the week before
Last year was certainly a Christmas to remember. It bathed me in warmth and security, the likes of which I have never known before. It strengthened and buoyed me up forever. It was a time I will never forget.
Looking back, I realize that I have changed quite a bit this year – at least physically:
Although, as I look at different photographs of me lately, I cannot quite recognize me. How did I get from being a youngish woman to an almost senior – so fast? "Where have all the years gone?" I wonder as I stare in the mirror, or at these photographs above.
I went from being a fifty-some-year-old to a sixty-year-old woman – over night, it seems – at midnight, to be exact, accompanied by my best friend, Jan and my darling son, Gilad, in a small bistro in Paris. I became tenured at work, completed another book, made friends and amends with all kinds of lost loves, strengthened some new friendships, and returned to therapy.
Changes stir emotionally. Indeed, I feel strong enough to take on some uncomfortable feelings – hence the courage to return to therapy. As I describe my emotions and thoughts to the new therapist these past weeks, I feel as if I am getting to know me all over again. Stories about my past seem so far away. Here and now is a whole new me to discover! It looks like there is some fun to be had this fast-approaching new year. 2010. It has a good ring to it. A decade since the millennium change. New pieces of Self to uncover. Perhaps, even, different professional paths ahead. Who knows?
This Christmas looks to be very quiet this year. Just life partner and me, with Ada pitter-pattering between and among us.
I wonder … may the quiet of the season give us some space to uncover a new us?