In treatment …
Quote of the day:
Last week my therapist suggested that as things are happening, or during interactions with others, I might try asking myself a simple question:
"How does that make me feel?"
I have been trying it out.
It is not easy for me. I first have to get over a couple of hurdles:
- First, the feelings are valid, but more importantly,
- it is safe to feel them at all.
It is a struggle …
I find myself changing the subject, or eating half a loaf of bread before I have time to realize I am feeling angry, jealous, disappointed, lonely, unworthy, excluded – whatever!
The therapist is relentless. He brings me back to this issue over and over again, whether I want to go there or not. I really adore the challenge of it. Mostly I want to go there with him. After all, I returned to therapy after a break of almost 6 years. I knew I had reached some kind of space that seemed too uncomfortable to proceed. And, now, here I am, ready to push through.
This is a big one for me.
It is at the core of my authenticity.
And so, I am grateful not only that he gives me a safe space to work this out, but that he coaxes and prods me to connect with the feelings right then and there – at the very moment they are happening.
For, as difficult as it is for me, I notice that feelings are stirring. I am slowly allowing them to seep out and up into my consciousness, and bit by bit hold still with the fear and discomfort that accompanies them.
A year ago at Mining Nuggets: Pre and Se … quels …