“Women, Food and God”

by tamarjacobson

The other day, I stumbled upon Geneen Roth's latest book quite
by accident. In the past I read her books and was intrigued with the idea of
giving up diets and taking responsibility for my eating habits. However, I
never quite trusted myself enough, and used her writings as an excuse to eat
what I liked, when I liked, and how much I wanted!

Recently after a 5-year hiatus from decades of therapy, I
decided to seek out a therapist in my area. I find myself, at age 61 realizing,
as if for the first time, that I always bolted from facing my feelings. This is
amazing and frustrating for me to discover. For, during the past 8 years I have
authored two books for teachers of young children specifically to help them
confront their emotions in order to interact with children and families more
effectively. Indeed, one of my books is even titled, “Confronting Our
Discomfort
.” I taught young children for many years before becoming a teacher
educator, and know first-hand that my earliest emotional memories affect how I
behave today. I am convinced that unless we become aware of how we feel, we
could unintentionally emotionally harm young children in our care. I realized
in therapy that I write, and teach others about this topic all over the country
because it brings me closer to facing my own issues.

Women, Food, and God” resonates with me. Timing is
everything! And I discovered it right in the thick of working to confront my
emotions brain, head and heart on. Reading each page I felt as if Geneen was
speaking to me directly. Indeed, her whole book is an “aha” moment! But
especially this quote:

But the person who would be
killed, the “I” in the “pain is big and I am small” belief, is an idea, a
memory, an image of yourself left over from childhood. You already felt
destroyed. That was then. You will never be that small again. You are not
dependent on someone else to hold you, to love you so that you continue
breathing. (Page 42)

I want to stay and be curious about me. Not as a collection
of memories. Not from replaying what happened to me. I want to be the me who is
not my past, not my habits, not my compulsions (page 43).

For at age 61 I
realize that I have already survived extraordinary pain. There is no more time
to lose. From now on, I would like to experience joy as well! 

A year ago at Mining Nuggets: Infants on my mind