Loving the unloveable

by tamarjacobson

I remember when I began blogging. As I l reflect about that time, six years ago, I hardly recognize the person I am now. For back then I felt as if I was in a cave – alone and isolated – from family, friends, therapist, work-life, and worth-while-ness. I explored emotions and my inner life with a quiet desperation.

Indeed, my blog at that time was called: Tamarika, In and Out of Confidence: A Journey to the Center of My Self.

I remember it as dark – and the silence was deafening.

And now?

Life is full – as full as can possibly be.

Why, it seems as if my house plants bloom and re-flower constantly – even on the coldest wintry days!

I cannot work out when, how, or what shifted in me.

I wonder …

Did I blog the blues away?

Love more openly?

Or is it that, in fact, I am starting to feel more love-able? I guess I discovered this recently in therapy, and I must admit it was embarrassing – even enraging – to face that I can no longer blame others for my feeling victimized or marginalized. 

A year ago at Mining Nuggets: Winging it … & A soul-full journey