tamarjacobson

Looking in the mirror, I am surprised to see who stares back at me. "Is that me in a wig?" I wonder to myself. What happened to all those other ages and stages of me? Are they still a part of me? Or have they gone forever?

Looking at childhood photographs, back when I lived in Rhodesia, I sense that little girl is still in me somewhere:

Or – the young woman I became living in Israel? Is she still somewhere inside me?

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And then, there are those years I became a student in and of America all those 25 years ago. Where is that person? I wonder – is that still me?

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All that hair  … 

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Is that what made me … me?

Or did taking it off bring me into my age?

I am coming into my age – 64 – accepting the person I see in the mirror these days. But I wonder how all those other pieces, faces, ages and stages, have affected and influenced the way I think, feel, and react these days. 

I want to live in the here and now – just experience this moment right now – I really do – and I believe I might be getting better at that. 

But sometimes, just once in awhile, I like to remember how I arrived here.

Update:

Quote of today:

We all walk the long road. Cannot stay…
There's no need to say goodbye…
All the friends and family
All the memories going round, round, round, round – Eddie Vedder

On my morning walk, I think about this post, and listen to The Long Road. Perhaps all this nostalgia is about saying goodbye to those old ages, bidding farewell, so that I might embrace the me of now.