Lost it

by tamarjacobson

Quote of the day:

We are separate people constrained by the forbidden and the impossible, fashioning our highly imperfect connections. We live by losing and leaving and letting go. And sooner or later, with more or less pain, we all must come to know that loss is indeed "a lifelong human condition." Judith Viorst. Necessary losses. (1998. Page 237)

Loss: make a list …

Lost it, where is it? Gaping hole. Void. Vacuum to be filled. Load is lifted. Dawn breaks and light seeps in. Darkness falls and fear crawls back. Sad and empty. Free and happy. Loss is bad. Sometimes good. Always complex. Life is complicated. Losing my baby. Babies. Leaving a country, town, city, continent. Flying away, driving, traveling by train. Into the clouds and out again. Walking away slowly. Running as fast as I can. Childhood fleeting. Young woman gone again. Losing flexibility. Becoming weary and energy returns. Supportive community. Arms wrapped around. Tears a-falling. Rage and regret. Soft loving acceptance. Wild and crazy. Lack of focus. Yearning. Longing. Music soothing. Wondering, why, what, where, how, when. Searching for answers. Understanding and realizing. Epiphany. Thinking back, looking forward, dreaming. Rejection. Rejecting. Searching, seeking. Naming the losses: childhood, youth, adulthood, babies, husbands, siblings, parents, houses, dogs, cats, plants, work spaces, places, friends, companions, partners, cars, bicycles, vacations, dreams shattered, loves, hates, assumptions, feelings, fleeting, slowly, swiftly, trains, boats, planes, nights and days, hopes, fears.

Eight years ago at Tamarika: When the darkness rolls away