tamarjacobson

Being in a phased retirement program at my university has helped me experience what it will be like to be fully retired from my faculty and academic position next June. Indeed, each year for the past two years and including this academic year coming up, I have leave from the university from December through September. While I have continued to write a book and article, facilitate professional development workshops for teachers, and present at regional and national conferences, I have not had to teach students or attend department meetings during that time. So, to all intents and purposes I have been slowly phasing into retirement. It has been interesting to be sure. The pace of my life toned down away from the intense life pitch of years gone by. In the beginning it took a bit of getting used to. I found myself anxious at times when I did not have the usual running around schedule of full-time work outside the home. Slowly but surely, though, I got into the new rhythm, and now enjoy it very much.

This morning during yoga exercises and meditation, I suddenly realized that retiring from my full-time work does not mean I am retiring from me. I am not my work. I am me. Retired or not – I will always be me. It sounds almost like a cliche, and for some this might be a given or superfluous for me to say. For me, though, it felt like a large discovery – an epiphany. Indeed, it made me smile out loud in the midst of deep breathing as I sat crosslegged in an almost lotus posture. There was a gentle breeze through the window that brushed my head and hair as I straightened my back feeling as if someone was pulling the back of my head upward toward the sky. It was thrilling. I am and always will be me complete with my beliefs, interests, desires, ideas, emotions, relationships, interactions, activities, loves, anxieties, creativity, intensities – all! My self worth is not tangled up with a pay check or business card. I cannot imagine I will stop traveling around the country or world sharing my passion with other early childhood educators. Instead, I will do it as me, not as belonging to thus and such institution, but I will always be my own kind of institution. Just an ordinary human being connected to many others through community – or communities as a citizen of the world – a citizen of humanity. I felt a different kind of energy for the rest of today. Warm and exciting, as if I had discovered something very special, precious, and important.

Last weekend a dear friend made a party for me, my family and friends, in order to celebrate the launch of my new book, which came out last month in Texas. It was a beautiful affair – classy, warm, friendly, and shiny with people dressed up, all of whom had come to celebrate and support my accomplishment. My friend had made all the delicious food herself, and there was much happiness in the room. As I stood and read a passage from the book, and answered questions that people asked, I spoke as me – not as a professor who belonged to any specific institution. I shared my thoughts and feelings openly and with full heart with people, who were genuinely interested, loving and supportive.

It is hard for me to express my gratitude for my friend, Helen, who made this beautiful party for me, for I think it helped me celebrate not only the launch of my new book, but also the beginning of a new journey for me – one, that I am excited to embark upon. I feel strengthened and supported by a vibrant and caring community, and look forward to ending my academic position but never retiring from me.

A year ago at Mining Nuggets: Pay attention to children with an open heart