Quote of the day
I would advise you to remember that you did not create the disaster that the world is experiencing, and you alone are not responsible for bringing the world back to balance. A primary responsibility that you do have, however, is to cultivate happiness in your own life. To make a schedule that permits sufficient time of rest and play with your gorgeous wife and lovely daughters. And so on. One gathers that your family is large. We are used to seeing men in the White House soon become juiceless and as white-haired as the building; we notice their wives and children looking strained and stressed. They soon have smiles so lacking in joy that they remind us of scissors. This is no way to lead. Nor does your family deserve this fate. One way of thinking about all this is: It is so bad now that there is no excuse not to relax. From your happy, relaxed state, you can model real success, which is all that so many people in the world really want. They may buy endless cars and houses and furs and gobble up all the attention and space they can manage, or barely manage, but this is because it is not yet clear to them that success is truly an inside job. That it is within the reach of almost everyone.
From Alice Walker's open letter to Barack Obama, which I found at Frank Paynter's site.
Lately I have been thinking about aging. I cannot help it. After all, in six month's time I will be turning sixty. Yes. 60. And to me it feels like "the big six-OH!" As I have always looked to the sixtieth decade as the age of wisdom, inner beauty, and maturity, somehow, I just cannot wrap my mind around the thought that I am capable. privileged or honored enough to turn into such a silvery, shimmery, shining age. I struggle with allowing myself to become mature, wise, or certainly possessing anything like "inner beauty!" Me oh my. After all, it seems to me that for so long, I chose to be child-like, and pushed back against maturity in case it would turn me into a conformist, boring old woman – as if that was a very bad thing to be.
As I walk briskly four miles each day, I notice that my legs, arms and torso are becoming stronger, and that since losing almost thirty pounds, not only do I feel lighter and more supple, I have so much more energy. I like the sensation. Long ago, I used to lose weight to feel sexy and worthwhile. Nowadays, it feels healthy and wholesome. It does not detract from my sensuality or sexuality as a woman, but I do not feel the need to prove my self worth through being sexually appealing any longer.
On one of my walks recently, I realized that, in fact, as I become older I need to become strong and flexible. In order to say goodbye.
As I fortify my legs and arms with free-weights, or stretch and bend with daily yoga practice, I feel the strengthening of my physical body permeating my emotional and spiritual self. I need to develop the inner fortitude and patience to say goodbye. For, aging is connected to parting in a deeper, ever present way. It becomes more immediate the older I become. For, at any time, this could be my final moment.
Living is all about losing and grieving. And, I have surely lived through my share of losses, through the typical life stages, death of loved ones, or divorces – mine or those closest to me. Losses of: childhood, expectations, countries, towns, states, humility, integrity, dignity, adolescence, youth, jobs, standing in the community, ideas, opinions, health, feelings of mortality or omnipotence, ego, innocence, boyfriends, girl friends, dearest friends, siblings, virginity, life stages, husbands, parent, attitudes, states of being, unborn children, baby from my womb, son leaving home, regrets, paradigms, continents, outlooks, love, habits, in-laws, step-children, dreams, youthfulness
… more will surely come to me …
However, the notion of losing life looms larger now that I become older. I want to be really strong for that stage, for it will be very sad for me to part from my son, life partner, dearest friends and family members, animals, plants, good food, companionship, blue skies and rainy days, joy, sorrow, snowfalls and walking by the ocean, in the woods, or up high on a mountain ridge against a stormy sky. I will need to stand firm and face it so that I might also give strength to those around me as we bid farewell to one another. I think it must take courage and strength to die – let go – move into the unknown and the inevitable.
Now, I am sure there are those of you out there, who will cry out, "Oh, Tamarika! You are still young! 60 is the old 40!" Believe me, I have those thoughts, too, that cry out in my brain as I reflect on all of this. To those conflicting cries, I reply quietly and firmly, "It takes time to build up the strength and courage – understanding and wisdom – patience and acceptance – to face my final life stages. So, I am starting – must start – right here and now. Before it is too late."
tamarjacobson 