Having a Self

by tamarjacobson

Quote of the day:

To have a Self is hell …

… for me.

I can't believe I said that out loud. [Me, in therapy yesterday]

I especially love it when reflection leads to revelation. Because that often leads to the unfolding of even more awareness.

This morning, for example, I am remembering how, many years ago, when I had first arrived in Buffalo a-now-old friend told me that I was like every body's shadow. It was an insightful observation, although at the time I did not understand it. 

Now I do. 

Having a Self, is more than just "independent thinking," although that is a major part of it. For it includes validating my feelings, or, more importantly, even being able to acknowledge I have the feeling in the first place – that I have a right to think and feel the way I do.

Indeed, I am amazed at how difficult it is – being freed of the prison of having no Self

… for I might have to take a stand for me from now on …