Becoming a senior

by tamarjacobson

Quote of the day:

A child's hand in yours — what tenderness it arouses, what power it conjures. You are instantly the very touchstone of power and wisdom. Marjorie Holmes from CCIE

Come to think of it, becoming a senior is not only about receiving those helpful discounts on trains, or at the movies. Nor is it about aches and pains, eating right, getting enough exercise, and being sure to take all those vitamins.

It is most certainly about a state of mind. Yes indeed. And I am not talking about that saying that I constantly hear lately – spoken like some kind of platitude or sympathy gesture: "You're only as old as you feel …"


No. I am writing here about something more philosophical that is connected to the human spirit, my psyche, and soul. For, as I was going about the morning-Ada rituals early today, I realized that life is no longer about the angst and urgency of feeling lovable or sexy enough, as I used to experience when I was younger. Now it is about close friendships, a beautiful spring morning, or witnessing the first yellow rose of the season in my back yard. In fact, there is something child-like about this different kind of life attitude. Because it is situated in the moment, here and now. Young children don't care about yesterday or tomorrow. They experience each moment as they live it. That's why they can never seem to remember what they did at school a few hours prior to their parents asking, "So what did you do in school today?" It is also why teaching them the calendar at ages three to five years is so senseless and ridiculous. Because, honestly, who cares what day it is unless it is today … right here … right now … ? 

Since growing into my sixties these past three years, each day, each moment, right here and now, is where I am happiest. Regrets about the past and wishing I could have done it better are becoming more fleeting, not as excruciating as before. Looking to the future seems futile because I have no idea what even today will bring lately. Am so thankful to wake up after a full night's sleep, and feel little Ada's paw on my face as she looks into my eyes telling me she needs her treats. I almost always feel a smile creep into into my lips.

Indeed, this morning as I squeezed grapefruit juice into the glass to help wash down that huge pile of vitamins waiting for me, I thought to myself, "Well, what on earth was all that angst about when I was young?" And then I sighed contentedly, walked up the three flights of stairs to my study thankful that the muscles did not ache when I reached the top, and sat at my computer to write this post. Ada nestled into her little bed next to me, and fell fast asleep … peacefully.

Seven years ago at Tamarika: I belong to it all, it belongs to me